Jon Stewart Hit the Nail on the Head

Last night watching Jon Stewart, I just about sprayed my glass of water all over the room, as he lampooned our MSM and what they said Michelle Obama had to do in her speech, such as "show that she loves America." Of course, because she is a Democrat, she has to prove that, since everyone knows that Republicans love America. But then Stewart hit the ball out of the park when he said, "they just hate half the people in it" or something to that effect. Damn, that was good.

Arizona Hillbilly- My Musical Tribute to McCain

To the tune of "The Beverly Hillbillies".

Now a listen to a story bout a guy named John McCain,
A maverick turned conservative he turned out rather lame,
He’s running now for President to be another Bush,
But I’m just hoping Jonny fails and lands upon his tush,
Dairy-airy that is,

Now election’s coming soon and Jon he hasn’t got a mate,
He’s hoping who he picks will somehow save him from his fate,
I hope he picks the guy who just like Jon he likes to flip,
You know of whom I’m talking bout that pretty boy named Mitt,
Black gold, texas tea, (or is that brylcream)

(Banjos)

Now economics isn’t something Jonny likes to do,
And thinks that he is middle class with problems just like you,
He’s married to an heiress with whom he cheated on his wife,
Another moral Christian who is ardently pro-life,
Amen, brutha John

Now John he is a warrior and he wants to start some wars,
He’ll bomb Iran and Russia while diplomacy he ignores,
He’ll tap his buddy Lieberman to run the D. O. D.,
And all the foes of Israel we will fight to set them free,
Of their oil that is


Now John once was a gentleman with high-minded ideals,
He tried to curb corruption and those backroom shady deals,
But running now for President he’s had to plug his nose,
He needs the kind of people who employ the Karl Roves,
Swindlers that is,

(Banjos)

So now it’s time to say goodbye to Jonny and his quest,
I hope these next four years that Jonny gets a lot of rest,
With four more years of Bush we’ll all be living in a tent,
And that is why Obama needs to be our President.

Ya’ll vote for Obama now, ya hear.

Chris Mathews Smacks Down Right-Wing Nutjob

Admittedly, I'm not much of a Chris Mathews fan. However, the exchange from the below link is hilarious, as right-wing nutjob and radio talk show dufus, Kevin James is truly something that tickled my funny bone. When confronted with a question he couldn't answer, he did what all right-wing nut jobs do, they increase the volume in order to try to hide their basic ignorance. Enjoy.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/24655385#24655385

"Terrorist Loving Liberal"

Every once in a while, I get fan e-mail per my blogs or my book reviews on Amazon. An individual who I won't out, e-mailed me concerning my book reviews of "Fiasco" and "The One Percent Doctrine", in which I basically restated what the books said regarding the behavior of the Bush Administration leading up to war in Iraq. Here are some quotes from the e-mail I received.

"You libs sure are quick to judge the Pres do (sp) to the lib media, and you lib losers in cyberland help to this unamerican activity. You and your terrorist loving liberal friends are destroiying (Sp) our country by undermining our president. I hope the next terrorist attack kills you or someone you love. You libs hate america as much as Al Qaeda, and Al Qaeda loves you too. If it were up to me, you libs could join the terrorists and (at?) Gitmo and get you out of the way so america can become the country of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, not Jimmy Carter and Teddy Kennedy."

My smartass response is below.

"Wow, even by e-mail I can see the vein in your neck, your bulging eyes, and the puffed up hairless chest. For the record, I found it interesting that you capitalized Al Qaeda, but not America. I'll assume that it was a lack of education rather than a love of Al Qaeda that was being articulated. I also find it interesting that you would wish harm upon someone who has done nothing to you. I see a pattern in this conservative thinking. Thomas Jefferson once said, "dissent is the highest form of patriotism." Dissenting to a poor President is not only the highest form of patriotism, but blindly supporting a bad President is flat out dangerous to our Republic."

"As for being a "terrorist loving liberal", first you need some definitions. What is a terrorist? Terrorism is a tactic, not a philosophy. Is terrorism basically anyone who doesn't work lockstep with the United States? Think about it. As for liberal, I willingly accept that I could possibly be considered a liberal given my political viewpoints. But so could people like Thomas Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln and many others. Liberals are generally for change, to try to make things better. Conservatives are tied to the past traditions and see change as threatening. So if you want to link me to Jefferson, Roosevelt, and Lincoln, I'll willingly allow you to link me with Ted Kennedy and Jimmy Carter."

"As for me ending up at Gitmo, I have no doubts that some conservatives think liberals should all be locked up, or sent packing. However, I'm confident that once we've been dealt with, conservative neurosis, given what it is, will find other demons to fear and hate. You might want to approach this logically and list all the groups you would like to obliterate, prioritize them and start laying out your plans. That's what Hitler did."

"Best regards."

I welcome his response.

My New Cyber-Micro-Politico-Brewery

After careful consideration, I Obi wan liberali, being of devious mind, have decided to open up my own cyber-micro-brewery. The name is an original one “The Hornet’s Nest” and the menu shall be of a political nature. With so many inspirational Utah politicians to inspire “The Hornet Nest” menu, I know with all the fiber in my bean, that it will be a cyber-success.

The first item of business is to create the brews. Below are my first attempts at creating a mouth-watering menu of unique Utah brews.

Leavitt Lager- Our signature beer, Leavitt Lager is a pretty great beer, with a very pretty can. Though light on flavor and light on substance, JUST LOOK AT THE CAN!!. Also available on tap but trust me, you’ll miss the can.

Huntsman jr. Light- Like our signature beer, Huntsman jr. Light (Hj Light) has a smooth finish and a beautiful can. Hj Light also has half the alcohol, half the flavor, and twice the carbonation of Leavitt Lager.

Buttars Pale Ale- If you are looking for a bitter beer, no beer is better at being bitter than Butters Pale Ale (BPA). Our genetically engineered hops is intolerant of malt and is guaranteed to piss you off. Though we’ve eliminated the alcohol, we guarantee you the same hangover, and the same ability to insult people that drunken dry-wall installers have perfected for years.

Dougall Draught- Nothing says “draught”, like Dougall. Not intended for actual consumption, we’ve created the perfect gag gift for those you really despise. Made from moldy hops, rancid rye, and recycled b.s., this beer will explode upon opening, spreading bilacious liquid and fumes for several square yards (please don’t use around children).

Stephensen Stout- Dark and foamy, Stephensen Stout (SS) is drunk with power. Popular in board rooms and chamber meetings, SS strikes fear in mamby pamby wine sippers from the avenues. And with every pint on tap, we’ll contribute a dollar to the mega-business of your choice.

Bramble Amber Bock- Get off the ground with a frothy Bramble Amber Bock,(BAB). Feeling ambitious? Try a BAB. The extra carbonation will rise like a Senator in a safe district and the higher than usual alcohol content will make even Bramble’s bills look good.

Curtis Cherry Wheat- Nothing speaks value (to us), like Curtis Cherry Wheat (CCW). A smooth hefeweisen with cherry flavor, you’ll forget that you paid us twice for the same beer. Like Greg Curtis, our motto is “one for the price of two.”

Hillyard Hefeweisen- Aged longer than any beer we make, “Hilly Hef” as we call it is a filtered wheat beer. A hef with staying power, you’ll smell like Hilly Hef for decades after having a pint.

Rocky Protest Porter- To city dwellers, nothing tastes better than a Rocky Protest Porter (RPP). However, the taste seems to decline the minute it leaves the city limits. Not recommended for the suburbs or for Rotary Club socials.

B & G Pilsner- Named after former House leaders Brown and Garn, this light beer has been brewed twice in reclaimed water. For those who believe in recycling, B & G is the beer for you.

I’m still working on the food menu and I welcome additional suggestions on beers. May the farce be with you all.

Col. Boylan Proving Glenn Greenwald Right

I don’t think I’ve ever seen such an inept public relations snafu as what transpired courtesy of Colonel Steven Boylan, a top aide to General Petraeus. Gleen Greenwald on his blog wrote an article discussing the politicization of the U.S. Military under the Bush administration. To prove Greenwald’s point, Glenn gets a sharply worded e-mail from Colonel Steven Boylan. I’ll reprint that below:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: "Boylan, Steven COL MNF-I CMD GRP CG PAO"
To: ggreenwald@salon.com
Sent: Sunday, October 28, 2007 8:15 AM
Subject: The growing link between the U.S. military and right-wing media and blogs

Glenn,
I had hoped to post this in response to your article, but apparently it is closed already.

I am not sending this as anyone's spokesperson, just a straight military Public Affairs Officer, with about 27 months overall time in Iraq who is concerned with accuracy, context and characterization of information and has worked with media of all types since joining the career field in 1991. The issues of accuracy, context, and proper characterization is something that perhaps you could do a little research and would assume you are aware of as a trained lawyer.

I do enjoy reading your diatribes as they provide comic relief here in Iraq. The amount of pure fiction is incredible. Since a great deal of this post is just opinion and everyone is entitled to their opinions, I will not address those even though they are shall we say -- based on few if any facts. That does surprise me with your training as a lawyer, but we will leave those jokes to another day.

You do have one fact in your post -- then Brigadier General Bergner did work at the National Security Council on matters concerning Iraq. Not surprising as he had returned from a year plus deployment to Iraq as the Multi-National Division - North Assistant Division Commander. It would seem reasonable that someone with Iraq experience would work issues at the NSC that was familiar with and had experience in Iraq. All else after that portion in your post about Major General Bergner is just your wishful thinking to support your flawed theory.

The claims about Steve Schmidt being out here on the staff in Iraq are just flat wrong. Pray tell, where do you think he is and how long have you fantasized that he has been here? Based on our records of who is in Iraq, I am really sorry to disappoint you, but he just isn't here. You are either too lazy to do the research on the topics to gain the facts, or you are providing purposeful misinformation -- much like a propagandist.

Schmidt was here, but at the time for the vote on the Iraqi Constitution, October 2005 for 30 days. He was never on the MNF-I staff and for that short period was actually detailed to the Department of State. He hasn't been back since. Sorry to burst your bubble, but a little actual research on your part would have shown that he is actually not here, but that would contradict your conspiracy theory. I am curious as to when you think the media relations or operations changed here in Iraq. I in fact do know exactly the day and time thatit changed and want to see if you are even in the same ballpark as reality.

For the third matter concerning the Beauchamp investigation and the documents that were leaked - it is very unfortunate that they were - but the documents are not secret or classified. So, there is your third major error in fact. Good thing you are not a journalist. The information that was released and it appears that has since been taken off the net is more of a matter concerning the Privacy Act. Since we don't know who released them, we are not able to take the appropriate actions and the media tends not to give up their sources -- good, bad or indifferent...I will not judge. That is our system and we must work with it.

As for working in secret with only certain media is laughable. The wide swatch of media engagements is by far the most diverse it could be. But you might not think it that way since we chose not to do an interview with you. You are not a journalist nor do you have any journalistic ethical standards as we found out from the last time I engaged with you. As we quickly found out, you published our email conversation without asking, without permission -- just another case in point to illustrate your lack of standards and ethics. You may recall that a 30-minute interview was conducted with the program that you claim to be a contributor. So instead of doing the interview with you, we went with the real talent, Alan Colmes.

I also noticed that you fail to mention the amount of material that is leaked to those other publications that I dare you to call right-wing like the NY Times, Washington Post, LA Times, etc. I do not condone or wish them to happen, but it happens. If you believe they are right-wing, then again, it is nice to live in a fantasy world.

I invite you to come see for yourself and go anywhere in Iraq you want, go see what our forces are doing, go see what the other coalition forces are doing, go hang out with the reporters outside the International Zone since that is where they live and work and see for yourself what ground truth is so that you can be better informed. But that would take something you probably don't have.
Steve

Steven A. Boylan
Colonel, US Army
Public Affairs Officer

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------


After reading this, my first reaction was “WOW”. Greenwald to his credit went to great lengths to verify that the e-mail was in fact from Col. Boylan, General Petraeus’s Public Affairs Officer. The e-mail address was the same as the one used in a previous e-mail encounter and Greenwald asked for any experts on IP addresses to verify that the address in question was Col. Boylan’s.

Well enter the denial stage. Col. Boylan, though refusing to engage in dialogue with Greenwald, is responding to e-mails in the published e-mail address from some of Greenwald’s readers who are castigating his behavior. On top of that, he is denying sending the original e-mail. Yep, someone else sent it, despite the fact that the language style used in e-mails to Greenwald’s readers is spot on to the one in the original e-mail. Also, wouldn’t it be a bit troubling that someone other than Col. Boylan, Gen. Petraeus’s public affairs officer could in fact speak for the commanding General of our war in Iraq?

Clearly, Col. Boylan has been caught in a lie, and trying to cover it up is making him look even more stupid and irresponsible. And on top of that, Col. Boylan’s e-mail proved Greenwald’s point about the politicization of the military under George W. Bush. That the public affairs officer for the Commanding General would be sending curt, patronizing e-mails to liberal bloggers is the very thing Greenwald was addressing.

Gen. Petraeus must be thoroughly ticked to have a subordinate behaving in such a way. Totally amazing.

Okay, I've had enough

Let it be known, from this time foreward, that Obi wan liberali has declared his candidacy for President of the United States. Ok, let's be real, that this is no more than a cyber-presidency. But looking at the candidates on either side of this contest has made believe that I am as well qualified to be President as any of the current candidates. This is not based upon any hubris that I have served in office and have been blessed with the support of powerful lobbyists representing great U.S. manufactueres or retilers. I base this upon a great concern that our Republic is in danger. That we as a nation have thrown off the ideals of the Geneva Conventions, that we have justified spying on our own people (for their own good) and have thrown away the freedoms that Thomas Jefferson fought for us.

When we surrender the freedoms that our founders guaranteed us over fear of terrorism, the terrorists have won. I for one despise the idea that the terrorists will determine our level of freedom. I for one challenge this worthless Bush Adminstration for surrendering our moral authority in the world because of his fear of being outdone by people who believe in a religion a majority of Americans despise.

Listen, I announce my candidacy because I am bewildered by my Democratic leaders and Presidential candidates for their failure to speak against tyranny when that tyranny is so obvious to so many Americans. This is the time for those who truly believe in our Republic to stand against the tyranny that is the Bush Administration. I offer myself as a viable option. I have more relevant business experience than Hillary Clinton and have been involved in Democratic politics since 1970 when I campaigned for Frank Moss (the man that should have defeated the moron we know as Orrin Hatch).

I can say with every fiber in my being, that I have managed more people than Hillary Clinton, that I've read 20 times the books of George W. Bush (admittedly no great feat) and that I may look a little haggard, I can provide more experience and wisdom than Barak Obama.

All I can say, is "Vote Obi".

An Old But True Confession

It started out innocently enough. I began to think at parties now and then -- just to loosen up. Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.
I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true. Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time.

That was when things began to sour at home. One evening I turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life. She spent that night at her mother's.
I began to think on the job. I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't help myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau, Muir, Confucius and Kafka. I would return to the office dazed and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"
One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about. I came home early after my conversation with the boss. "Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as college professors and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently.

She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama.

"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door. I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors. They didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night. Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra , a poster caught my eye, "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.

You probably recognize that line. It comes from the standard Thinkers Anonymous poster.
This is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker. I never miss a TA meeting. At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home. Life just seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking. I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me.
Today I took the final step... I joined the Republican Party.